Intramural Soccer

I found this in some old folders of stuff I wrote for a few friends back yonder...

January 2004

Rogue U of I Ultimate Frisbee team attempts indoor soccer league

So it starts out like this…

DK, Berry, Robinson, Mark show up to play. Games call for five on each side, so a slight panic sets in, nothing we can’t handle. While we warm up by tossing 40 yard forehands with a stack of frisbees across the field, our competition shows up.

Our competition--this is where it gets ridiculous. They were approximately 15 grad-student aged players (and older), decked out in matching green uniforms with shin guards and socks. They practice some set drills with a few of the provided practice balls and take shots on goal in succession. In contrast, our team is dressed in assorted colors sans shin guards, and our warm up ball (as I mentioned earlier) is flat, plastic and weighs 175 grams. Our first strategy is to petition for the authenticity of the other team’s student IDs and/or INS papers.

By this point we already mentally conceded defeat and are more in tune with the hilarity of the impending contest. Luckily, Andrew shows up with his floor-neighbor Brian and we can now at least field a team. As Andrew has fallen into the "Edwards Curse" and broken himself prior to the game, we are left with the no-subs minimum of five rag tag players against what we find out is a legitimate indoor soccer team.

Action. The game moves quickly in the first half as IHUC adjusts to the spherical nature of the game and learns how to play together. It’s mostly an offensive onslaught by the opposing team who, while color coordinated, does not take very good shots. Robinson puts on a show as goalie, blocking some 15 shots in the first half and skying a forward to gain control of the ball. To this point it has been a solid and energetic performance on defense. Half comes after 20 minutes with a surprising score of 0-0. Our team estimates we took 2 or 3 legitimate shots on goal.

Second Half. Our opponent is just as surprised as we are by the score, and are even more so when their goalie is led out of the box and DK capitalizes with a quick score on the lone defender in the net. The ref finally notices DK is bleeding and he takes a quick injury time to get his knee taped up while IHUC soaks in the sudden success. Once play resumes, the other team is noticeably upset. Our attempts to control the tempo and stall are met by a frenzy of shots on our goal and Brian being tackled at midfield. Robinson continues to display raw talent in goal while Mark and DK keep the ball moving around to Brian and Berry. As time winds down and our opponent is deep in the throws of desperation, Berry steals the ball from an offender at midfield. Two defenders attack and the first is dispelled with a quick move to the inside. The other couldn’t quite match speed and the shot goes left upper 90; goal. There’s a quick kick-off, and a few seconds of erratic play before the whistle blows and IHUC claims its first round-ball victory 2-0.

Paece.